Agra

It would be a good idea, I thought, to buy UG’s in Agra — Mumtaz special. A laugh it would be we decided if we found someone selling something similar to what Mumtaz Jahan wore for the Shah.

I didn’t have the time to go looking. Nor did our Agra Fort guide mention if the Mumtaz wore Ugs or if any of the Mughals liked wearing Ugs (we also did not broach – although he did say that the Mughals loved women and had loads of them, there were harems with over 3,000 women or that the Mughals did not like messing with doors, they preferred curtains, they liked hanging out with their wives in the balconies and doing nothing during summers.) 

And so the Taj variety of love is surf excel clean ( as if you didn’t know).  The owner of the place  where we lunched ( as did everyone else) referred to the Taj as a ”Pyar ki nishani’ – the sacrificial kind.  
 The only comic endearing moment during the Taj trip was when a warden ticked off a tourist for smuggling cigarettes in the soles of his shoes. (As the sheepish tourist with his love for cigarettes walked back to the locker, Aye asked the by now smug warden how did he figure out where to look. The warden said he just knew. )

as i have complained to most people, the Taj is a big letdown. The guides we followed – we didnt hire our own — at the Taj were insipid. A friend had asked me to hire a guide to learn about the architectural wonders of the Love Mahal. It didnt work.

Heading back from the love mahal was a nightmare. We were three girls, one visiting the Taj for the first time, one after 20 years, and one after four years, though that was not the reason why we hooked ourselves up with an auto driver for day long transportation. It was a  very bad idea. We got into a bus in the evening that took the longest time – from 6 pm to 3 am — to get to Delhi.(In Delhi, we got hauled by cops when we couldn’t find a single open gate into the society.)

 One soaring moment during the day was the lunch we had at the back alleys of Jama Masjid. The chicken I nibbled on from Aye’s plate was better than Delhi’s Karim’s. I had asked for dal-chawal  ( i was trying to be vegan), but they gave me a mild version of fried rice, with peas, boiled and fried in oil,with cashew, cloves and other spices.

 Aye has coined a sobriquet for Agra – ‘city of thieves’. Agra ke log chor hote hain,  is what we told everyone who was within ear shot as they forced us to sight-see through Mathura and Vrindavan in the dark, both filled with mercenary priests. 
People say, one is predisposed to like the Mahal, even before one steps in. Some other people said before we left that that it is a symbol of one man’s ego. If one feels compelled to try out the Taj Mahal, then it is useful to remember that the Love Mahal is like a temple at the time of an ‘Aarti’. Or do the night trip – which is about Rs 500 for 20 minutes.  

I feel sage enough to add that it is best to talk less in Agra. Do not strike deals with the auto drivers to take you around. Stay away from guides. Stay away from crowds. It would be a good idea to carry as less  money as possible. Aye said the city is renouned for pickpocketeers. Do not buy anything, you will most definitely get fleeced.  The city is really not worth it. One ends up with an unsavoury taste, it erodes most things positive in you. Aye and I felt like our years of education and so many years of working and dealing with hardboiled eggs was wasted on us.