squirrel boy

Time to wake up from the dead, revive the squirrel club and introduce an honorary member, squirrel boy: Eric Schmidt. CEO Google, on the board of directors of Apple, whom the fake steve diary keeps referring to as ’squirrel boy’.

hmm. This might need some explanation. There was a blog written by this forbes guy by the name of fake steve. hugely funny. fake steve poked fun constantly at Eric boy who he called squirrel boy. which is what caught our attention. The forbes guy still writes the blog, hes also writing a fake steve book and also for well, Forbes.

Welcome squirrel boy! (ofcourse squirrel boy knows not about the squirrel club)

v squirrelist

I woke up today to squirrels. It was nearly noon and the uncle and the aunt had given up on me, when the squirrels decided to take things in their hands. Loud keeks. Loud shrill, relentless keeks. When I stumbled to the door, I saw one sitting on the grilled stairway, a live, throbbing alarm clock demanding my attention. Each burst of keek sent its tail shooting up vertically. Did my little ones in M’lapore send an email to B’lore asking this one to wake me up? Did they? Did they not want me to waste time sleeping? (Or Did dear mother call them? )

Such gorgeous creatures. Sigh. Brown, furry, buck teeth, nose hitched up and ears sticking out, eyes peering through invisible eye lids, always scurrying around where humans live with abandon, leaping from one twig to a branch, constantly busy, always always keeking – tireless — sharp intake of breath and short bursts of whistles. Sometimes long, drawn out but relentless. Such happiness. I love them.

(see, squirrels can be rats in so many ways, but so so different they are)

pearls and squirrels

a couple of strips back, Stephen Pastis of Pearls Before Swine ran a cartoon on the ’sumo squirrels’ . Rat and Pig were jealous of squirrels, and wait! squirrels figured on Pearls! Around this time, squirrelhood acquired a new member; for parody’s sake we’ll call her sumo. Parody cos she’s absolutely not a sumo, she’s the antithesis of it.

But anyway, we take it as a sign. squirrels are getting famous. now we have representation from all streams.

A little sumi about sumo: she’s not sumo at all. and she’s got mallu hair. ( btw,we have too many mallus in this club. except me, everyone else is a mallu. I didn’t know i could get along with mallus. historically, I haven’t. ) plus she is the general secretary of the squirrel club. Mip and I are the co-presidents, ofcourse. Small is the treasurer. We seem to be MRS. so and so.

The thing also is we are all going home in a few days. this may be the last post from here. we’ll be building new nests of love ( not exactly love nests) in different cities — Pune, B’lore and B’bay.

ok then. wee .

new member and clarification

small, who is very squirrel friendly, has evinced interest in joining the squirrelhood. we are mighty pleased. and this is a unanimous decision, ofcourse.

a small introduction : small is called thus cos she is small. she can cut vegetables mighty fast though. i can’t think of many embarrassing things right now but maybe Mip can.
small can’t pronounce certain words properly like ‘where’ or ‘there’ or ‘here’, but in the squirrelhood club we do not discriminate against people on any ground. so there.
small take offence if animals are referred to as ‘he’ or ’she’ cos that humanises them and it is an insult to animals, she says. fair enough. small was born in a mad ( i cannot pronounce the rest) country. she may have inherited some of their ( theya) traits.

Moving on Sparky might have been miffed that her teeth was called ‘uneven’ yesterday and by a squirrel at that. So now, its only fair that we tell you something else about her so she is not judged solely by her “uneven” teeth.

her ears do not stick out like other intelligent people’s do. and nobody else goes into a tizzy over numbers like she does. some jokes of hers are witty, some aren’t ( some are sad),  she “dudes” people a lot.  she loves Kundera and other strange, weird intellectual people and also a philosopher whose name I cannot pronounce– but Witgensten? she loves south Indian coffee and once even admitted to liking ( loving, but not madly in love with) chennai. this is turning into a testimonial so I have to think of an embarrassing affliction, quick! she loves going squint eyed to stare at that fringe of hair ( or heah, as small would say) on that nose of hers.

Introducing Squirrelhood

Mip and I have been doing this gig for a month now. Each time we want to scare innocent people on the road, we talk about the GDP to sound very smart and then once we’ve crossed them, we go OUI OUI in our shrill, loud voices. The day before yesterday , we actually got a reasponse. A fellow in his bike, I cannot describe because I didn’t notice, squeaked ‘wee wee’. WE might have to accept him in our squirrel club if he applies; that ofcourse is subject to a unanimous decision in the club, which right now has two members — Mip and I ( me?).

We had Sparky — flashing her white, straight, some places uneven teeth— two steps behind us gauging the response of our victims. She claims to have been embarrassed. Her true feelings towards our dignified club will never be known. Sparky is generally not known to endorse clubs that parody the GDP.

Anyway today, I was kind of spaced out ( or maybe desolate, depressed) because of lack of sufficient employment when Mip decided to chip in with some nut and cheer. She convinced me that one of us would get a job soon and then they would have to hire the other ‘cos they can’t hire one squirrel without the other, the union won’t allow it’. So I think we must get our union registered, just in case, companies did not recognise un-registered unions, but ofcourse this is subject to a unanimous decision in the squirrelhood club.

I should probably explain more about squirrelhood to everyone reading here. We are generally happy people. We espouse feminist and squirrelist causes. We are nature friendly, like you didn’t get that. We love love ice cream. We love adventure and tree hopping. We love travelling, and not just from one branch to another. We like to believe that the sky can be touched, that the world was made for us, that we can get anything if only we tried, that it is always better to move, even if it’s one millimeter at a time, than to stay still. We believe in progress of not just in distance or in promotions but also of the mind. We also love giving unsolicited advice. We like funny people. If you are one and believe in all of the above, we might consider you in the squirrelhood club, but only if the decision is unanimous ofcourse ( by now, you might have figured it out.)

OK then . Keek. Keek. We are rather busy these days owing to some theorising, but you may contact us on our keek phones.